Chapter 14
My mother asked to visit.
She had defended Rachel early.
She said all children had tantrums.
She said I was letting Laura’s memory control me.
She said Rachel needed support.
After the trial, she wrote a letter.
I read it twice with Dr. Lane.
She admitted she had ignored Sophie’s fear because accepting it would mean accepting her own mistake.
She said she was sorry.
Sophie was not ready to see her.
So I said no.
My mother cried.
I let her.
Guilt does not outrank safety.
Months later, Sophie asked, “Why doesn’t Grandma Ellen come?”
I answered carefully.
“She believed Rachel before she believed you.”
Sophie looked down.
“Bad choice.”
“Yes.”
“Can people make better choices?”
“Sometimes.”
“Did she?”
“She is trying.”
Sophie thought about it.
“Letters first.”
So letters came.
Short.
No excuses.
I read them before Sophie did.
Some she accepted.
Some she returned unopened.
My mother learned to accept no.
That mattered.
Sophie began school again.
Her teacher knew enough.
Not everything.
Enough.
On the first day, Sophie asked, “If I cry, do I go in closet?”
Her teacher knelt.
“No. If you cry, I help you.”
Sophie looked at me.
“Safe?”
May you like
“Yes,” I whispered.
She went in.
